…I thought I was controlling my destiny, regulating my moves—so I wouldn’t be too far out of N.Y. Actually, I was frightened and lonely. I was incapable of taking my own good advice. I’m so glad you’re operating sanely. I said the word would get around and someone would notice and be smart enough to take you. Try not to expect it to add up to anything. It may not. One piece of good work at a time—for George.
I fled from Madison. I’m glad to hear it’s a happy place for you, and northern Wisconsin sounds sublime. I hid out. I called myself a loner, but that was a euphemism for a confused condition of the spirit. Ellen and I met backstage at the Union Theatre, when it was a primary space. It seemed semi-abandoned when I stood on its stage in 1983. No experience is wasted. Nothing. Laurette Taylor didn’t act for ten years and then returned to the stage in triumph. But she was seldom happy. You’re cheerful about the half-assed work and fable attempts by the many assholes floating in and out of our world. Wait’ll the “press” intrudes. Like your high-roller attorney, these people are lonely, mostly, and can survive only by sucking other people’s marrow. They know nothing about acting, writing or directing, or patience, persistence, poetry, or pretty dreams.
I think it was Goethe who said that after food, storytelling is mankind’s greatest need. He may have been right. Actors are among the most energetic storytellers. Like Shakespeare, we don’t judge, we just show it—all. Reporters annoy me when they go on about my playing normal men. I keep pointing out that I choose roles almost solely because they’re the best ones offered to me. Sometimes I turn down even a pretty good role because I don’t want to repeat myself. But I don’t give a fuck about campaigning for goodness, in my work, anyway. Sorry. There’s a complex slip and pun, combined. Be good—believable and interesting—but never mind how high or low the character’s morality.
Unfortunately, television, at least, has sunk to presenting nothing but morality plays anymore, or shallow comic book miniseries. I have to do some of them to support my theatre habit. Valmont is a complex, selfish son-of-a-bitch who fakes himself—like so many men today. It’s a beautiful, disturbing, amusing, suspenseful and entertaining, intelligent play. Most of my work over 27 years hasn’t been of such high quality. No matter. All you have is now. I have only this work for 7 more weeks, and that’s enough. You may be working in the Steppenwolf Company. Good. If not, you’re still O.K., because yours is the standard that stays with you. You keep it up. Alone. With others. But I’m with you. Keep laughing.
Best Regards,
Dan